Wednesday, October 8, 2008
WOMAN vs. WALLPAPER
Literature's themes focus on the great dramas of life such as "man's inhumanity to man" and the triumph of "good vs. evil". Another popular theme is the idea of "man vs the mountain".
Allow me to add another oft ignored theme, though broad in scope. I speak of "Woman vs. Wallpaper".
Some twenty-five years ago I began the battle, taming dozens of wild rolls of unyielding flora and geometrical patterns. With daring precision, snoother and glue, I wielded my level and utility knife and slapped each soggy strip to my walls.
And then decades came and went, and with them went the 80's style that I had so fully embraced.
"Come into the Twenty-First Century, Mom!" my kids pled. Okay. . . I'm cool, I'm hip. I'm all up or down with it, though the very saying of such things clearly testifies that I am not. And so began the great "Wallpaper Scraping of 2008".
It has not been pretty. The walls were not properly prepped, it would appear, and my nails are worn, my back is hunched and I still have moist, sticky wall paper goo stuck between my toes. The struggle to remove the paper left the walls so pocked and damaged they now resemble the surface of the moon, a condition that will now require spackling and skimming and priming and and caulking, all before we begin to paint.
And what about selecting a paint color? Oh dear. . . I can't even go there yet!