THE MAJESTY OF AGE

I experienced true human majesty today. Mom completed her month-long rehab and was discharged this morning. In the past four weeks, she's lived in a quad set-up with four older women, each with differing ailments that require them to have full-time care. During the day, she went to the dayroom to paint or listen to music with other residents with whom she chatted and spent time.

She doesn't remember their names from day-to-day, or even hour-to-hour, but she responds to everyone with a smile and a kind word, and they became friends.

Today, as I walked down the hall to pack her things, one of her ailing friends asked me to give her their milk carton because they know she loves milk. Another grabbed her walker and shuffled to Mom's room, offering her a tearful hug goodbye. Her roommate was so upset about the impending loss of her friend that she wanted to leave with her.

Whether once women of means or paupers, life has equalized their stations. Each is now reduced to what can be stored in a few drawers, and a cupboard for clothes. Their wants are few, and what they treasure is love, given freely and soaked up like rain on dry ground, through heavy-armed hugs, a trembling smile, a carton of milk, or an offered cookie from a plate sent by a loved one.

I wiped my eyes more than once at the grandeur of spirits that could not be contained by frail bodies, but which reached across rooms and halls in cheery laughter and illuminated eyes. If time spent at a task makes one a professional, then these are professionals at loving, who stripped of the trappings of things, love soul to soul and heart to heart.

Perhaps we become more spirit than body, a thought that makes growing older seem glorious. At least I think so, because today I saw majesty, and nobility, and grace, and I remain awed.

ALZAUTHORS--Writing Stories THAT SUPPORT FAMILIES IMPACTED BY DEMENTIA

As many of you know, my family, like many of yours, was rocked when our mother received the diagnosis of dementia. I found support and understanding from a group of authors who were likewise affected by this disease. In some cases, it struck the authors' loved ones. In other cases, the author themselves were impacted.

My award-winning novel, "The Dragons of Alsace Farm," illustrates the impact dementia has on a 82-Y-O French WWII survivor named Agnes, and the people who love her. My mother inspired me to make Agnes a dementia sufferer so I could begin a dialogue about this disease. "Dragons" led me to find an extraordinary group of authors-- Alzauthors.

I'm now proud to be a member of this empathetic writers guild who write books about their journey with this disease. Some of the stories will make you laugh. Some will make you cry. All will touch you deeply and offer readers similarly affected a place to feel understood.

Alzauthors is hosting an book promo to make readers aware that such books even exist. I'm late in announcing this because I was on vacation, but I wanted to at least get this posted   Feel free to browse these books, or please share with someone you know who might find these books a comfort. 

"THE DRAGONS of ALSACE FARM" IS A RONE FINALIST!!!!

The Dragons of Alsace Farm is touching the hearts of readers and reviewers. 

It has now garnered 67 Amazon reviews with an average of 4.75 out of 5, plus: 

*A Hungry Monster Book Award

* The New Apple Literary Award for Inspirational Fiction,  

* A Whitney Award General Fiction finalist status

And some more wonderful news arrived on Monday when InD'TaleMagazine posted their list of finalists and "The Dragons of Alsace Farm" made the list! 

Many thanks to all who've read, reviewed, and nominated "The Dragons of Alsace Farm" for an award. 

My heart is overflowing with gratitude for the way you have embraced this story. For those of you who may not know the inspiration behind the book, I invite you to visit this link. 

I've lowered the price to $0.99 until June 30th, when we plan to give the book a new cover and re-release it for summer. Paperback copies are also available. It would be my honor to autograph a copy for  you or for a loved one.

UNDERSTANDING MOM

This post may help others better understand their loved ones struggling from behind the fog of dementia.

I've noticed that Mom has been announcing my arrival in a

strange new way recently. When I enter the room, she recognizes me, but she seems confusedly surprised when she looks at me, and she says, "You're my daughter Laurie," as if verifying her assumption.

I finally asked her, "Are you surprised to see me?"

She replied, "A little."

In the past, I assumed this was because she couldn't remember my visits once I left the room, but as we broke the ice with conversation, Mom seemed sad. When I asked why, she said her mother came into her room and was upset that she hadn't cleaned it. She still suffered over her mother's disappointment.


"How long ago did ago do you think this happened, Mom?" I asked.

"A few minutes ago." She was still very glum about the situation. I realized she was still living in another place, another time, and I wondered how seeing her grown daughter walk in when she was living in a moment of her own childhood would have affected her. I asked her, "How old do you think I should be, Mom?"

Her face twisted up. "About twelve," she answered more as a question than a statement. "Little."

"Does it seem weird to you to see your daughter all grown up?"

She shrank back into her covers and nodded. "Yes.

"And how old do you think you are?"

A moment earlier, she thought she was twelve too. She looks at me and begins processing memories of marrying, and having a family, including at least one grown daughter standing before her.

My brother and I have had to answer questions about Dad's passing dozens of times, as if she relives the first news of his death many times, but now I realize that she's living in a time warp daily, a strangle "wrinkle in time," a "Matrix" where one minute she's twelve, and a moment later she's grown and a mother, and an old woman a moment later, surrounded by photos and faces of people who were real to her a minute ago and then lost to her in an instant.

Some people listen to the ramblings of dementia patients and think they're crazy, but consider the mental gymnastics their mind is performing, the fight their engaged in to make any sense of all these simultaneous realities, and to come back to us in our time at all.

I hate this disease, but I now have a better understanding of the frightening, shifting world my mother lives in, and I can help her navigate better.

She wanted to be left in that bed and stare at me while we chatted. It took over an hour to get her to agree to sit and then stand, to shift worlds, so to speak, but once I pushed her mind to leave the comfort of the past, and reenter the present, we went outside and faced the glorious beauty yesterday offered. I don't know if it was the exercise pumping blood to her brain, or her sweet personality that couldn't bear to ignore my coaxing, but once she was outside she played bocci ball for two hours, she chatted with her friends, and she won the game!

I hope this helps you better understand your own loved one with dementia. I don't know how long I could retain my own sanity and clarity if I was flip flopping through time and realities this way. Don't discount how hard they are working to hold on to each moment in time. Start now formulating questions that help you gauge where their mind is, and find ways to gently nudge them back to the present.

MY GUEST APPEARANCE ON "THE DEMENTIA ROUNDTABLE."

THE DRAGONS OF ALSACE FARM , my eighth novel, turned out to be a very different book than the historical fiction novel I intended. After my mother's diagnosis of dementia, and after watching the complexities this disorder added to every element of her life, I decided to write my World War II survivor, Agnes, as a woman affected by dementia, to showcase this disease, and to illustrate its impact on its sufferers and their families.

It was a delight and a joy to discover so many authors and other advocates for dementia awareness on social media. I found a lively group of generous authors, The Alzauthors, on Twitter, and they welcomed me and "The Dragons of Alsace Farm," into their circle.

From that association, I connected with Gary Joseph LeBlanc, host of the podcast, "The Dementia Roundtable. Aside from supporting his own family members struggling with this disease, Gary is also an author, a columnist, a National Dementia Care Speaker and Advocate, founder of the Dementia Hospital Wristband Program and Dementia Mentors. and a dementia care educator. I was honored when he invited me to be a guest on his podcast to discuss our family's experiences in supporting a loved one with dementia.

Here is the podcast.

DEMENTIA ROUNDTABLE CONVERSATION with LAURIE LEWIS from Dementia Mentors on Vimeo.


From this discussion and many others with loved ones and providers, I share a few insights associated with this disorder.

1. Have the hard conversations early, when parents are healthy, so children aren't left to make
    agonizing decisions without their informed input.
2. Prepare financially for the possibility of a dementia diagnosis.
3. There is no "one-size-fits-all-solution. Look at in-home care, live-in support, and small group
    homes. Institutional care is not the only option.
4. Alzheimer and dementia patients can enjoy many happy, productive years with assistance.
5. There is guilt. If you intervene, your loved one will be angry. If you don't, they will suffer.
6. There is more guilt . In many circumstances, because of other responsibilities and demands, you
    may not be able to personally provide what your loved one wants and needs.
7. There will be judgment. Brace for it.
8. You will need support. Someone you can talk to and cry with.
9. despite the changes occurring, your family member is still in there.
10. When you can't add to their memories, make moments.

WE ARE ALZAUTHORS: The Inspiration Behind "Dragons."

I was honored when Marianne Sciucco, (author of the newly released "Swim Season,") invited me to guest post on the "We Are Alzauthors" blog. Marianne, and several other authors impacted by dementia/Alzheimers, began this blog "to provide resources for those living with dementia, and their caregivers." Collectively, this group offers decades of experience in living joyfully in spite of this disease. Here's the article, but please visit the site and check out my friends' books. Their stories will remind you that you are not alone.

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THE STORY BEHIND "DRAGONS"

Like our family, my proposed WWII mystery, “The Dragons of Alsace Farm,” was also changed by our mother’s diagnosis of dementia.

After my father’s passing, Mom threw herself into her farm and animals, finding purpose in the care of her “babies” and the maintenance of her land. Progress on the book slowed when our previously happy, healthy mother began exhibiting signs of what we assumed was depression, needing more of our time and care. Her mood swings were erratic and her reality seemed very skewed. She was often sick, and we suspected that her hygiene and cooking skills were slipping, causing recurring stomach distress.

Over and over, we took her to her internist, pulling the physician aside to express our concerns that something was amiss. Each time, Mom charmed her, redirecting all questions about her health and routine to another topic with the skill of a railroad switch operator. We were always assured that she was great, and dismissed without getting any solid help. But the changes increased, and a neurologist finally concluded that Mom had dementia. Fear became her new reality. Fear, frustration, and guilt became ours. 

After interviews with caregivers, loved ones, and health care providers, we realized we weren’t alone. Although most people are impacted by dementia in some way, I was aware of only a few books tackling the topic. I decided to ramp up the tension in my book by placing my WWII survivor, Agnes, on the dementia spectrum, allowing me to offer readers a glimpse into the impact of the disease on individuals and entire families.

Soon after Mom’s diagnosis, we found a young couple with mild disabilities who wanted more independence. They moved into Mom’s home for a time, offering farm help and companionship in exchange for rent. Mom believed she was helping them, and they felt they were helping her. As a result, the three of them rose above their limitations to lift and serve one another. 

Inspired by these observations, I spoke with counselors at the local Department of Aging to see if we could pair people who have a home but need help, with people who could help but need a home.

Legal barriers killed the idea, but I decided to introduce this dynamic into the book. I turned to two friends/family therapists to help me accurately create Noah and Tayte—characters with alternative challenges who would similarly impact Agnes. My mystery had now morphed into a family drama about internal dragons—the fears and secrets we all battle.

It’s been very gratifying to see how people are reacting to the book. Many say it hits close to home. Readers love the characters, especially Agnes, who reminds them of some loved one who has been similarly affected by dementia. They also mention the hopeful, redemptive message in “The Dragons of Alsace Farm.”

On a personal note, writing “Dragons” was cathartic and healing. Writing Agnes’s scenes helped me step away from my concerns and see things from Mom’s perspective. Like Tayte, I finally stopped trying to “restore” her, and learned to appreciate her for whom, and where, she is. Like Noah, I recognize that she still remembers what matters most—love. 

Available on Amazon: 

CROWING: Jennie Hansen's Review of "The Dragons of Alsace Farm" for Meridian Magazine

Forgive me for crowing. But this review made my week! Thank you, Jennie Hansen! 

THE DRAGONS OF ALSACE FARM by Laurie Lewis

Two adults with horrendous childhoods that have left deep scars are drawn together at Alsace Farm, a farm owned by an elderly woman suffering from Alzheimer’s. Noah Carter was physically and emotionally abused by his father, then at eighteen eloped with a young Quaker girl who had second thoughts before morning. Upset, Noah crashes his vehicle and winds up in jail where he is beaten and molested by the other inmates. No one, not even the uncle he’d hero-worshipped all of his life comes to his rescue. For ten years he disappears into a world of substance abuse and bare existence living until the uncle, who is dying of cancer finally locates him. He returns to his uncle’s home where they make a shaky start to re-establishing their old relationship and the uncle encourages him to start a business of his own as a craftsman woodworker. He also pushes him into working for and repairing a nearby farm for an elderly widow who survived World War II as a child in France.

Tayte Donnelly is the child of two hippie artists who drifted around the country, mostly ignoring her, and caring more about drugs than for her. The happiest time of her childhood occurred when she was eight and her mother left her for two months with her grandmother. This idyllic time ended when her parents came for her and abruptly took her away, then informed her her grandmother was dead. Her own talent as an artist is beginning to garner recognition when she is notified, her parents have been killed in an accident, and her grandmother is alive, but has dementia and that as the woman’s only relative she has to see to some legal matters. Though the old woman doesn’t know who she is, Tayte decides to stay on the farm and care for her grandmother.

Agnes Devereaux Keller hides a secret in her attic. She has spent her life hiding from dragons, not living fire-breathing dragons, but powerful secrets, secrets concerning the Nazis, a daughter who ran away years ago, a man who betrayed her, her father, an old love, a spiteful, calculating woman, and so much more. If only she could remember which day it is and whether or not she fed the goats. She adores the young man who comes to help her, but wants nothing to do with the bossy young woman who cleans her house and throws away her anchors to reality.

This is a story of two injured people, picking up the fragments of their lives, and struggling to make sense of their pasts and build a much better future. It highlights the damage caused by poor, selfish parenting, and the difficulty of rising above past hurt, guilt, failures, misunderstanding, and oppression. It’s also a story of hope and determination.

Lewis has created outstanding characters who realistically portray the characteristics of the particular dragons each is fighting whether it is physical or emotional. Agnes’s dementia is very real as is the uncle’s cancer. So too, are the emotional flaws the two main characters carry from their years of physical or emotional abuse. The two young people learn a great deal about themselves and about love through the things they learn from Agnes. Love draws Agnes back from the terrible black abyss of dementia and love is the gift the uncle struggles to leave Noah, his wife, and his sons.

As four people struggle with the “dragons” in their lives, this multi-pronged story melds the plot line of each character’s story into an overall one of overcoming adversity, recognizing the worth of all individuals, and never giving up on the hope for love and belonging.

Laurie Lewis was born and raised in Maryland. She and her husband still live there where she enjoys the rich history of that region. They are the parents of four children. She has authored seven other novels, most dealing with patriotic or historical themes.

* * *

THE DRAGONS OF ALSACE FARM by Laurie Lewis, published by Willowsport Press, 356 pages, soft cover $13.53. Also available for e-Readers.

GOODREADS GIVEAWAY!!!!

Goodreads Book Giveaway

The Dragons of Alsace Farm

by Laurie L.C. Lewis

Giveaway ends August 11, 2016.
See the giveaway details at Goodreads.

Enter Giveaway

"The Dragons of Alsace Farm" is in the Kindle Scout Competition!!!

Dear friends,

I could use your help.

After a long hiatus, I’ve returned to publishing. In order to expedite my new book’s release to market, I entered it into the Kindle Scout competition, which one author described as "the American Idol of books."

Like "Idol," this competition rest on two factors--the public's support, and the book's merit. In other words, "Dragons" needs votes to rise in the ranking before Amazon's editors will place it on their "read list." Once it's selected, the rest is up to the book, and to them. If Kindle picks it up, it will be published by them and receive the power of their marketing.

I would be so honored if you would vote for "The Dragons of Alsace Farm." If I win, you do too, because every person who votes for a winning book will get a free e-copy!

You must sign in to your Amazon account and use this link:

https://kindlescout.amazon.com/p/ZJLNGPGSPG54

It should only take a minute, and there are no further obligations.

If you're inclined, I would be so grateful if you could also help me spread the word through your social media contacts. Feel free to copy this text and tell everyone it's from a grateful friend and author. Again, if they help "Dragons" win, they too will get a free e-copy.

Thank you so much for all your support! Here's the blurb, but visit the link to read sample chapters!

Warmly,

Laurie

Fears and secrets are the dragons we each must face. . .

In need of his own redemption, Noah Carter finally confronts his childhood hero, the once-beloved uncle who betrayed him. Instead of vengeance, he offers forgiveness, also granting Uncle John a most curious request—for Noah to work on the ramshackle farm of Agnes Deveraux Keller, a French WWII survivor with dementia.

Despite all Agnes has lost, she still has much to teach Noah. But the pair’s unique friendship is threatened when Tayte, Agnes’s estranged granddaughter, arrives to claim a woman whose circumstances and abilities are far different from those of the grandmother she once knew.

Items hidden in Agnes’s attic raise painful questions about Tayte’s dead parents, steeling Tayte’s determination to save Agnes, even if it requires her to betray the very woman she came to save, and the secret her proud grandmother has guarded for seventy years.

The issue strains the fragile trust between Tayte and Noah, who now realizes Tayte is fighting her own secrets, her own dragons. Weighed down by past guilt and failures, he feels ill-equipped to help either woman, until he remembers Agnes’s lessons about courage and love. In order to save Agnes, the student must now become the teacher, helping Tayte heal—for Agnes’s sake, and for his.

WHEN THE RESEARCH BLESSES THE WRITER PERSONALLY

Teachers often say they are the ones who learn the most from preparing a lesson. Writers can say the same when they research a topic for a book.

 

I researched dementia while writing "The Dragons of Alsace Farm" because we were dealing with those issues in the family. My research came too late to help with some issues, but it did provide insight and assistance in many ways. One was a nudge to pull out the old photos and sit down with Mom. 

 

I had read some interesting pieces on the power of music, and I spoke with a dementia-trained caregiver who explained the great trigger clothing and other belongings can be. I know from personal experience that certain items become "buoys" by which these patients "navigate" when anxiety makes them overly confused. The photos were amazing

 

She had been extremely agitated and angry the previous night, and she needed to be calm the next day. Sleep helped, but the photos maintained that calm.

 

Her expressions shifted from blank, to wonder, to recognition as she studied each photo. Sometimes names came, but when names remained vague, she became frustrated and embarrassed, and we'd focus on things other than the faces--clothes, cars, the house in the background, anything. Ideas and stories began to flow, some were completely unrelated to the photo, but it was all golden. I kept encouraging her and thanking her for teaching me so much. That was perhaps the best thing for her. She was so proud, and she seemed to sit straighter and walk with a surer gait after our gab session, as if she had been restored. It was wonderful. She filled in holes in our genealogy that day that she hadn't been able to provide on previous days, and most importantly, the exercise calmed her, made her feel connected, and brought her joy. 

 

So "Dragons" was actually intended to bless me. And let me suggest that if time has passed since you last sat down with an aging loved one and those old family pics, pull them down and spend an hour reliving old memories with them. If your experience is like mine, it will heal you both.

 

THE RABBIT HOLE DIARIES

Do you have a loved one sliding into the rabbit hole of dementia?

Welcome.

This is a place to share.

 Forgive me for letting this blog slip for the past few weeks. I've been busy focusing on family matters, and completing a manuscript for a book about people dealing with a loved one who suffers from dementia. (The trailer is viewable in the post below.) The new blog and the book are very personal. This is now my mother's world.

We didn't recognize the early signs. Our ailing father had recently passed away. He was our mother's world, and his care had occupied her every hour, so we assumed the depression, the bouts of anxiety, the confusion, and the uncharacteristic emotional swings from silly to sobbing was a result of the dramatic changes she had experienced.

Mom had been estranged from her family most of her life with only a few visits home in forty years. She returned from her last visit to see her mother with reports of the changes she had seen in this once lively parent. We all assumed it was the result of a tragedy her mother had experienced. Now we know better.

I was doing genealogy and I contacted a relative to ask for information. She sent a family tree home with my mother on that visit. I never saw it, but my sister found it a few years ago. It listed my mother's thirteen aunts and uncles--nine of whom suffered from some form of dementia. In all honesty, the news scared us. We could see what we were dealing with, that it wasn't going to get better, and that we were utterly unprepared.

I've begun a new blog titles, "The Rabbit Hole Diaries,"  that's attached to my website. I hope this blog will attract others who are dealing with dementia in a loved one. I'll share what we're learning from doctors and research, I'll post links and articles, ideas on respite and long term care, but what I've found most helpful so far is sharing with others staring into that rabbit hole.

So if you have something to share, please do. If you have questions or need a place to vent and cry, click the link, visit the blog, and share. I hope we'll build a community of support, and a network that can empower us to give our loved ones the best life possible.

Thanks,

Laurie (L.C.) Lewis

CARNIVAL MIRRORS

I've never enjoyed the distorted perspective provided by carnival mirrors. Most film clips that include such a glimpse also include knife-wielding psychopaths in hot pursuit of some terrified innocent. Just thinking about it creeps me out.

My personal experiences in front of those things have been equally unnerving. Fun for a moment, these mirrors disturb the norm, displaying fat views, elongated and crooked views, and rendering one's face unrecognizable. Their humor comes from disorienting the viewer who can walk away at will.

But what if you can't? What if who you see and who you are is a toss-up every day? What if some days, you look in the mirror and see a 78-year-old woman whose clearest memories are rooted in sixty-year-old experiences? This is Mom's world. This is the carnival mirror known as dementia.

I spent last Thursday with her, attending to her bills. Her budget is a working crisis nestled in a life in perpetual crisis. She lives on a decrepit 17-acre farm with about 60 residents--a motley assortment of goats, chickens, geese, two mules, a pregnant mini-horse and ancient gelding. These are her children. Her children have now become her parents.

Not every day is bad or hard. Some days, days when things are rolling along according to her routine, she does great. She's funny, kind, generous, and caring. Some people look at us on our weekly "dates" and smile as mother and daughter make the rounds at WalMart, the pharmacy, and the park. She retells her favorite old stories from childhood, I tell her stupid jokes, and we generally wind up oohhing and ahhing over the spread at Mom's favorite Chinese Buffet.

Bad days don't have to be whole days. A single event or question can throw her off her game, or trigger an unpleasant memory that will consume her and throw her into a burst of anger. I've come to realize that anger is generally an expression of fear, and so we start un-threading the day to discover the source of that fear.

Some people grow impatient with Mom--people in line at the grocery who slump across their carts as they watch her struggle to write a check, forgetting the date, asking the clerk to repeat the total several times, looking to me for reassurance.

Some stare at her severe make-up and black polyester wigs. She's a beautiful woman, even at 78, but her look has undergone some curious cosmetic enhancements. She now draws thick, Groucho Marx-style eyebrows in black eyeliner which we replace regularly, along with a few tubes of difficult to find bright orange lipstick. She can't discern a clean shirt from a soiled one any more, but she becomes insulted and indignant with I point stains out to her, so I have learned to flatter her into changing, with comments like, "It's such a pretty day. Let's dress up. Go put on that pink shirt."

Some people take advantage of her. A thief stole replacement checks from her mailbox, requiring us to close her account and open a new one. Even though we chose the exact same check pattern and style, the confusion of making the change overwhelmed her. We sat in a customer service rep's office to make Mom comfortable. She later told my brother she was in an attorney's office, and that they took a lot of pictures of her. I realized later that she had been quite upset by the many security cameras placed inside the bank. To her, she was being photographed like a convict.

Some people pity her, and us. The bank personnel were overcome with empathy as she begged them not to close her account. They tried a dozen ways to explain how this was for her good, but in the end I realized another painful thing--we'll need to assume legal control of Mom's affairs soon.

It's a hard road, a road most of us will be on someday, either as the caregiver, or the patient. It's hard to prepare for this time, for the interruption it creates in the lives of all concerned. Two good books on the subject are "The Thirty-Six-Hour Day" which is a good guide for caregivers, and "Still Alice," a novel written form the perspective of the dementia victim. Both were recommended by good friends. One is also going through this journey with her mother. Talking and sharing helps.

A SHIFT IN REALITY

I love history--learning about it, cherishing it, making it through making new memories. It's ironic almost that after spending years immersed in researching other people's memories and experiences I find myself sorrowing that someone I love is burrowing deeper and into their past, unable to retain much that is recent, or make new history. This is the agony of dementia. This is my mother's world.

She is slipping away from us, one day at a time. Her recall of the past is clear and crisp, but what we did yesterday, or even five minutes ago is a frightening fog that leaves her anxious and at times, apprehensive, argumentative, and angry.

It's a bitter irony that her life is being lived in reverse, so-to-speak. She clings to the old, the ancient memories, retelling stories, reliving events, both sweet and bitter, switching back and forth between joy and despondency depending on what event flashes into her mind. When a thought or understanding from the present does manage to snap into place, she clings to it with a death-grip, repeating it over and over within a few minutes, as if that current bit of relevance is a life line to the present. We cling to it with her.

Each day is different. On a good day--a day where her routine is uninterrupted--she is funny and sweet, charming and innocent, childlike in her careful exploration of her world. On a day when change injects itself into her routine, be it through a new element or a new person, requiring an adjustment to her rigid world, she fights or retreats. We never know what will trigger what reaction.

It's been hard to pull back from Mom and her concerns enough to work on my manuscripts and then I realized that perhaps it would be good for both of us if I simply wrote my current perspective. So that's what I'm doing. I'm setting the other projects aside and writing a story that includes a character with dementia. It shows the trials and the surprises that go along with loving someone in this delicate mental bubble.

So that's where I'm at right now. It feels right. It's helping me cope by providing a place where I can dump my frustration, and it helps me spend time seeing things from her perspective. I hope it will help someone else who finds themselves in this crucible of caring for a mother/child. I'll tell you how things are going. If you have a loved one with dementia, I'd love to hear your experiences as well.